Yeah, I woke up the next morning, I went straight to the bank, I withdrew my life savings, and I was gonna start that charity. You were pretty coked-up, huh? Oh, yeah, man, I was flying high. So I drew up plans for this foundation that would help kids all over the world, would advance human rights, revolutionize agriculture, and just improve every nation and every society in every possible way. I needed to do something good with my life. I only cared about making money and doing cocaine, and I was pretty crappy to my family as well.īut, one night, I had an epiphany, right? So I was a hotshot corporate lawyer in the 1980s.
Script it for stclare how to#
This is me and Janet's honeymoon, so we're gonna go try and figure out how to have sex. I mean, what did you do to end up here? That's kind of a long story. Oh, that is the nicest and only thing anyone has said to me in 30 years.
One of the perks of living alone is that I get to just walk around naked.
Yeah, by the Eagles, and it's only the live versions.Īlso, there's some spoken word poetry from William Shatner. On your jukebox, you'll find every song ever sung. Yeah, and the bad place made some modifications. You submitted a list of things you wanted the good place provided those things. The neighborhood you are in now by yourself. You mostly sucked, but then you did this one good thing. I'm from the good place, and welcome to your first day Well, given that she's the only person in the neighborhood, I'm guessing this is the pl. I don't have any of my normal abilities here. If he detects any feelings in your voice, he retreats into a cocoon, so what we need to do now is just be very still and very quiet. What's happening? I should have warned you. She was sacrificing herself because she is a wonderful, selfless. She stole your train to voluntarily go down to the bad place. What I will consider is the recent development of Eleanor stealing my train. I've ruled the fart inadmissible as evidence. What up, dingdongs? Yeah, so basically, um, the fake Eleanor's a dirtbag, and these jabronis are gonna try and claim she's less of a dirtbag now, but she just stole your train, and she still sucks bad.Īnd she belongs with us. The bad place has sent bad Janet to present their argument. I'm here to preside over case #00003 regarding the soul of Eleanor Shellstrop. Lamborghinis, cool snakes, spinning rims, 20,000 followers on Instagram, girls with pigtails eating lollipops, latex pants, Carl's Jr. Oh, yeah? What things did he say were sexy? No pressure, but Jason and I will literally be tortured for all of eternity if we get caught.ĭon't worry, there's no way to tell we're going to Mindy St. 'Cause Janet's powers aren't working, and I want some gum and some football cards and some scratchy tickets. We're going somewhere that's not the good place, and it's not the bad place. You don't know what I'm like.Ĭan I ask you a question about where we're going? You're out of my line of sight, I literally forget you exist. You know, I see you here all the time, and you're always mean to me, and it really hurts my feelings. Do you have a second to talk about the environment?
Yep, I'm gonna sit alone in my house watching wedding fails on YouTube, drinking margaritas through a Twizzlers straw until I pass out on top of my vibrator. Ow! What the hell? Walk it off, Lululemon. HI removed, cleaned, capitzalization corrected and tons of dialog dashes fixed by Tronar